


Dave's Man Juice

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Btw this is hardly smut, I, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I'm Disturbed, I'm Going to Hell, I'm also sorry, Other, Pointless, Regret, Smut, This Is STUPID, also, everything
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-09
Updated: 2015-03-09
Packaged: 2018-03-17 01:58:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3510956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dave walks out to the kitchen to find something rather interesting....</p><p>Hey just remember it could have been a lot worse. Just Don't read it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dave's Man Juice

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Dynamite Lalonde](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Dynamite+Lalonde).



> So I feel like a jerk for making this considering I have a Fanfiction on hiatus.. But this needed to be done. Seriously. It's 2 o'clock were I am so bare with me. Also I never wrote smut before so I'm just winging it!
> 
> I hope you enjoy!~

Dave wasn't the type of guy to wake up early in the morning on a Saturday, but he promised Karkat that tonight they would finally get it on, without Bro walking in every minute asking ironically if they need protection like that creepy mother from Mean Girls. Which is a movie you totally don't know anything about. 

Dave grabbed his clothes, stuffing them in a bag and headed out to the kitchen area to examine if he had everything when out of no where he heard a faint call of his name. 

"Davvee" Said the mystery voice coming from the fridge. Dave knew better then to open it. This was defiantly something bro planned, if he opened the door a ton of shitty swords would fall on his face, but still the soft voice made it hard to resist. 

"Oh Davve please open the door, it's freezing.." The voice said seductively. It was getting hard to ignore it now. Speaking of hard things.. Nevermind. You reluctantly open the door to see a full bottle of Apple Juice surrounded by nothing. This can't be right where are the swords and deadly shit?

"Hey sexy~!" The Apple Juice container spoke toward you. 

Instead of freaking out you shrug your shoulders. After all you boyfriend is another species, and has no real explanation to why the hell he would be on earth. 

"Yo." Dave waved to the container mentally facepalming himself. It doesn't have eyes idiot. 

"Take me now Strider!" The container of fine apple juice said. You didn't have to hear those word again. You swooped up the swooning cylinder licking it lid. 

"Oh yes! Yesss.. Stop teasing just chug me already!" It said so hot and bothered. Dave peeled the top off and drank it straight. It was so very wet. It was hard to keep it all in his mouth. 

Suddenly Dave couldn't take it any more, and as it was about to finish, Dave cumed like everywhere. The Kitchen would never be safe for use again. 

"DAVE WHAT ARE YOU DOING." Karkat asked Dave who is sitting on the floor. Before he could answer All of his exes appeared. 

"what a loser." John said nudging Terezi.

"1 KNOW R1GHT?" Terezi said 

"WE'RE THROUGH STRIDER, I CAN'T BELEIVE YOU CHEATED ON ME." Karkat said stomping out of the apartment. 

 

Terezi and John the proceeded to make out on your couch while Virska took pictures. 

THE END

 

((IDGAF about Grammar))

**Author's Note:**

> This had nothing to do with anything and also I think I'm gonna ship JohnxTerezi now because I can. 
> 
> Someone make lots of Fan art.


End file.
